REFLECTIONS OF RYAN

Ryan Scott Lawrence, you were our baby boy. 

You gave us 19 years of pride and joy.

Sprinkled with conflict, seasoned by pain. 

On loan from heaven, now  it is plain.

What a flurry of excitement you caused at your birth. 

You must have known you weren’t long for this earth. 

Nearly born in the car there was no time to waste. 

From K.C. to Boonville we drove with great haste!

You were always so curious and full of why’s.

Your thoughts were much deeper than most kids your size.

“Does God have a father?” you asked of your dad.

“No, son, He doesn’t” “Poor God, That’s too bad!”

And then you were seven and you loved the outdoors.

Mowing the lawn was your choice of chores.

From the time of your accident, your life was changed.

For the rest of your days you would smile thru the pain.

You started to work through your faith in that bed.

“Could God have kept it from happening?” you said.

“Yes, son, he could have if that was his plan.”

“I wonder why he didn’t, dad. Someday I’ll understand.”

We noticed a difference in your life one year

when you came home from Youth Camp at Harmony Hill.

You’d made a commitment to follow the Lord

with a call to the ministry, to be a man of the Word.

School wasn’t easy, but you didn’t mind.

You had more important things to do with your time.

Like spending hours talking to your teachers and friends.

Life’s about people and investing in them.

You played Hudson football each year through the pain.

You weren’t a starter, but on the team just the same.

Swing Choir, and New Dimensions, the Li’l Abner star.

You knew that we’re witnesses wherever we are.

I knew more than most, of your imperfect ways.

Sadly, that’s all I could see about you some days.

Getting up was more my priority than yours.

You could sleep through alarms that would rattle the doors.

You learned compassion to be gentle and kind,

to give of yourself, your money and time.

The babies and children and elderly knew

you’d give them a “Hey! and a hug or two.

You cherished your family.  They were special, each one.

Lori and James, aunts, uncles and cousins.

Your grandparents were your heroes, all followers of God. 

Living close by them was the dream that you had.

A year in Missouri with them was your plan,

work at the lake, enjoy family and then,

“I’ll go to college in just one more year

to prepare for the call to the ministry I hear.”

I don’t know why.  It seems such a waste,

that God called you with the same haste

That you entered the world 19 years ago. 

Oh, God!  It literally tears out my soul!

But the Lord giveth, and He taketh away. 

That same God promises new mercy each day.

We’re left here nursing our gaping  wounds.

But yours are all healed a new body you’ve found.

I’m sure you’ve met Grandma Rita by now. 

Her first grandson to join her in heaven - she’s proud.

And tomorrow we’ll be there.  I’ll hold you again. 

Our questions all answered then - but not until then.

For now we see through a darkened glass. 

But soon we all from this life must pass.

Then forever we’ll see you face to face,

our family together in that heavenly place.

And so we’ll try to continue and live,

to honor the Lord and worship and give

He gave us so much in the gift of you, Ry! 

We give you back to him.  For now, precious son, Good-bye!

Love,  Mom