Carolyn wrote the following letter to our son James Nathan as we took him off to college in 2001.
My dear James,
And so the day has come. The day I've spent 19 years in preparation for. Teaching you to make your bed and clean up your room, put your laundry away, pick up after yourself. OK, maybe I didn't do such a great job at that. Tell Mike I'm sorry. =) I think you did learn it, though, and now you'll start to apply it. But maybe there were other things that don't always show on the outside that I taught you...like, the importance of family and friends, the healing nature of kind words, and the comfort of a hug. In spite of my imperfect ways, I hope I helped instill within you the joy of serving Jesus, the power that spending time with Him brings to your life, the peace that comes from obedience to His commands. I see these things developing in your life, and it brings me joy beyond words.
But, I wonder if I've forgotten anything. You won't be living under my roof, really, now that you're all growd up and in college. I won't have the opportunity on a daily basis to nag or pick or instruct. So, lets see. I think I told you that even at a "Christian" college, there are few real Christians, so you have to guard your own heart, make your own quiet time, choose carefully the people you share your life with. You have to set the tone, be the example, encourage others to follow Him.
Did you learn to not put whites with darks in the laundry, that usually new towels and sheets fade the first time or 2 they are washed, and speaking of sheets, they do need to be laundered at least once a semester!!!! DON'T LEAVE OLD FOOD AROUND YOUR DORM ROOM BECAUSE IT WILL ATTRACT RODENTS AND CREEPY CRAWLY THINGS AND IT WILL EVENTUALLY STINK! Don't loan money habitually, nor should you borrow money. If you do, see that the debts are quickly settled. It will preserve many friendships.
Did I tell you that in a big city there are lots of things to distract you from your purpose for being there? Lots of good, fun, worthy activities, but activities that rob you of study time, rob you of time with God, and empty your meager bank account=). Choose carefully what you allow to possess the precious moments of your days.
Did I teach you that even in this day of modern technology, tiny little notes or a card that you picked out, sent in the snailmail are so meaningful to people you care deeply about...your grandparents, your girlfriend, a buddy at college, your sister...ok, even your mom.
And did I teach you that I will always be here for you, day or night, when you need to talk, when you have a problem or a question, when you want to share a moment. If you need someone to laugh at your funny, shed a few tears, listen to an idea. Someone to tell you no, tell you an answer to JEOPARDY, tell you that you're loved. I'm here.
Well, I must get back up to our hotel room. In a few minutes we'll be packing up and leaving the Hyatt, journeying over to North Park to take care of last minute details, and we'll be off, all of us starting a new chapter. But as I sit here by the waterfall watching the busyness of Chicago life, a hundred people have walked past me, none of them knowing that today, I'm leaving my Bamie here to begin his college career. They don't sense the pride I feel that he has become the man I see in him. They can't see the excitement I have that we have successfully arrived at this point in our lives. And I don't think anyone sees the little tears that dribble down my cheek every once in a while, because along with the pride and excitement and joy, there's this little bitty tiny element of sadness in knowing that my one job that has given me the most fulfillment and happiness in my whole life...having my children under my wing in my home...is now completed to a large degree. Not perfectly, not without regrets, but in the best way that I knew to do it, God allowed me to love and nurture and care for you, all three of you. And He has brought about results in each of your lives that make me so proud to say, "Yes, that's my baby!"
And so, the day has come. Great joy, great anticipation, great sadness. But most of all I want to be sure you know, once more, that...
And so the day has come. The day I've spent 19 years in preparation for. Teaching you to make your bed and clean up your room, put your laundry away, pick up after yourself. OK, maybe I didn't do such a great job at that. Tell Mike I'm sorry. =) I think you did learn it, though, and now you'll start to apply it. But maybe there were other things that don't always show on the outside that I taught you...like, the importance of family and friends, the healing nature of kind words, and the comfort of a hug. In spite of my imperfect ways, I hope I helped instill within you the joy of serving Jesus, the power that spending time with Him brings to your life, the peace that comes from obedience to His commands. I see these things developing in your life, and it brings me joy beyond words.
But, I wonder if I've forgotten anything. You won't be living under my roof, really, now that you're all growd up and in college. I won't have the opportunity on a daily basis to nag or pick or instruct. So, lets see. I think I told you that even at a "Christian" college, there are few real Christians, so you have to guard your own heart, make your own quiet time, choose carefully the people you share your life with. You have to set the tone, be the example, encourage others to follow Him.
Did you learn to not put whites with darks in the laundry, that usually new towels and sheets fade the first time or 2 they are washed, and speaking of sheets, they do need to be laundered at least once a semester!!!! DON'T LEAVE OLD FOOD AROUND YOUR DORM ROOM BECAUSE IT WILL ATTRACT RODENTS AND CREEPY CRAWLY THINGS AND IT WILL EVENTUALLY STINK! Don't loan money habitually, nor should you borrow money. If you do, see that the debts are quickly settled. It will preserve many friendships.
Did I tell you that in a big city there are lots of things to distract you from your purpose for being there? Lots of good, fun, worthy activities, but activities that rob you of study time, rob you of time with God, and empty your meager bank account=). Choose carefully what you allow to possess the precious moments of your days.
Did I teach you that even in this day of modern technology, tiny little notes or a card that you picked out, sent in the snailmail are so meaningful to people you care deeply about...your grandparents, your girlfriend, a buddy at college, your sister...ok, even your mom.
And did I teach you that I will always be here for you, day or night, when you need to talk, when you have a problem or a question, when you want to share a moment. If you need someone to laugh at your funny, shed a few tears, listen to an idea. Someone to tell you no, tell you an answer to JEOPARDY, tell you that you're loved. I'm here.
Well, I must get back up to our hotel room. In a few minutes we'll be packing up and leaving the Hyatt, journeying over to North Park to take care of last minute details, and we'll be off, all of us starting a new chapter. But as I sit here by the waterfall watching the busyness of Chicago life, a hundred people have walked past me, none of them knowing that today, I'm leaving my Bamie here to begin his college career. They don't sense the pride I feel that he has become the man I see in him. They can't see the excitement I have that we have successfully arrived at this point in our lives. And I don't think anyone sees the little tears that dribble down my cheek every once in a while, because along with the pride and excitement and joy, there's this little bitty tiny element of sadness in knowing that my one job that has given me the most fulfillment and happiness in my whole life...having my children under my wing in my home...is now completed to a large degree. Not perfectly, not without regrets, but in the best way that I knew to do it, God allowed me to love and nurture and care for you, all three of you. And He has brought about results in each of your lives that make me so proud to say, "Yes, that's my baby!"
And so, the day has come. Great joy, great anticipation, great sadness. But most of all I want to be sure you know, once more, that...
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
your mommy I'll be."
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
your mommy I'll be."
love,
mom
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